There was a time when I ruled the world with a crown and a sceptor and a cape.  I roared like the lion, shone like the sun, and fought many a battle like the bravest of warriors ... 

and then trauma struck my very soul ... and I began to move within the shadows ... hoping not to be noticed ... no drama, no confrontations, no nada ... just me being a part of the masses. 

I simply wanted to survive. I was aware of my transition mentally, but not understanding the physical effects of my shadow life.  My body had created a private conversation of "protect her at all costs" and began to internalize the trauma of my soul in many ways ... 

Diagnosis of melanoma cancer, surgeries, stress, weight gain, losing my appetite for healthy foods, and restless nights ... then the awakening appeared a couple days ago ...

My body has literally been holding its breath for years  ... weaving webs of internal protections ... tissue hardening under the pressure ... life dying inside ... until recently.

Today I am awakening to the empowerment of my soul ... to shed its light within my body ... to heal the life inside so that I will begin to shine bright once again.  The magic of the awakening is transforming! 

Awaken to the richness of your life.  Awaken to the glory of your light.  Awaken to the absolute truth of your soul.  

How will you awaken today?  Step into the sunshine of life ... open the door you have peeking through all these years ... the world awaits your glory. 

No longer will I run in the shadows ...

So I say this with love and affection ... beware ... I am awakening!

Yesterday was a day of intensity and risking and today I am feeling the results of those decisions, conversations, and commitments ... although powerful, I feel as if I fell off my surfboard and was tumbled around within the underbelly of the surf ... popped out feeling dazed and confused.  What just happened!??!  How did I get here!?!?  What was I THINKING!  Relax ... it's okay ... breathe ... exhale ... repeat!

Today I am embracing the importance of remaining true to my mind and body and allowing myself to be quiet within ... no extra energy given to others today ... all will be well ... gather energy for me to heal and to nourish for the quest I have chosen.

Winter is always my time of dreaming ... and planting visions for the Spring ... all who know me wait patiently for my late Winter/early Spring reveal ... and this year they won't be disappointed by the dream I am manifesting.

Unlike times past, today I am aware of my need for solitude and to realize how important rest is for my body and mind.  I can still walk the day powerful, insightful, and giving to others AND to me.  Typically, I would push through the "what have I done!" awareness and only allow myself minutes to re-group ... to snatch up the last drop of energy from within my body ... and GO!

Today I am embracing the decision to rest, recover, rejuvenate, release, and REALIZE I am human ... my health is my wealth ... to remain grounded in the foundations of meditation, breath work, walks outside, fresh foods, water, and solitude ... to write, pray, and reflect ...

Embrace life ... observe your reactions to situations ... notice your responses to conversations ... perhaps these observations will bring clarity of how the body and mind need time of rest and relaxation ... to fill the soul ... to once again feel the sun upon your face.

Embrace the power of moving to music, singing to a favorite song, finger-painting or swinging on a swing ... fill your body and soul today ... embrace the softer side of life ... you will find strength in the depths of your soul.

I remember sitting at the table with my father as I pondered many tough questions.  I miss him so much these days.  I definately was a "daddy's girl" ... he was my hero, my counsel, my rock ... and to this day I will sit in quiet prayer time and talk to him ... with a piece of paper on the table. 

My Dad would always have me draw a line down the center of the page and write "pro" on one side and "con" on the other side ... and our conversation would begin ...

As the dilemma unfolded onto the paper, I could see more and more that the "con" side was simply the fear of risking, uncertainty, and "what ifs" ... I couldn't control those circumstances then ... and I can't control them now.

Today I sit with a piece of paper on the table ... today I am risking. 

My meeting today will unfold the next ten years of my life and I am nervous with excitement and fear as I launch forward.  Am I making the right decision?  What if I am wrong and I fail?  And then I smile ... I can see my Dad sitting across the table from me ... smiling ... what if you succeed? 

I smile, too.  The tears in my eyes remind me that I am surrounded by love and faith.

My risk today would seem insignificant to some and to others unimaginable.   Our risks are defined by our personal experience, beliefs, and values.  Each day our personal boundaries are expanded when we allow life's risks to teach us and give us more experiences ...

Or perhaps to simply write them on a piece of paper ... "pro" and "con"... what am I truly risking?

When we place significance on the outcome ... we will be disappointed ... risks allow the journey to unfold ... teaching, showing, giving ... providing us the opportunity to experience life. 

The outcome of today is unknown ... I suppose life itself is one big risk ... I never really know the outcome ... I just know I want to have a part in the game ... so I keep playing. 

Today I am risking ...

A day of accepting ... my life.

I have a habit of making lists ... emptying my head on the first available piece of paper, napkin, post-it, or receipt helps keep me creative ... focused ... manifesting ... aware ...

I am not concerned about completing all the items on the list because making the list is the first level of accepting my life.

My life is one of constant motion ... creating ... negotiating ... manifesting ... dreaming ... and there are some days I wish for mediocrity ... but along comes acceptance to remind me of who I am in this life.

So I return to the list of grocery shopping, cleaning house, organizing bills, developing new websites, new business prospects, workshops, e-books, training clients, sending out thank you notes, blah blah blah ... and then simply cross off the details on the list ... when the time is right.

No hurry.  No demands.  No "my plate is full" excuses. 

I accept the life I have ... and believe me ... I have the list to prove it!  AND ... I love my life.

Accepting my life has brought me great joys and sorrows, amazing successes and failures, answers and questions, and more questions ... and relationships I treasure deeply ...

I wake up everyday knowing that I am accepting a life in faith and a faith in life ... how about you? 

Today is about acceptance.